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April 15, 2014

It finally dawned on me why I'm not from "old money" - my
ancestors didn't invest in the right inventions.

Cow Shoes worn by moonshiners, 1922
By not leaving human footprints the Feds had a
hard time tracking the moonshiners.

Coin operated radio, 1922
When they were first manufactured radios were quite expensive.  This
invention provided the less affluent the opportunity to listen to the radio.

Motorized bicycle-sled, 1910
Introduced in Oslo, Norway, the motorized cycle
sled just didn't catch on in American.

The Yodeling Meter, 1925
How cool of a Christmas gift would the Yodeling Meter make?!
(Is that Tina Fey's grandmother on the right?)

 Walter Nilsson sitting on his Monowheel, 1933
I can't change a bicycle tire, how am I suppose to
keep this thing on the road?

In 1948 Joe Gilpin demonstrated his invention - a motorized surfboard.

The precursor to Google Glasses -
TV Glasses were introduced in 1962.  Love the rabbit ears.

The Plant Pain Meter, 1963
L. Ron Hubbard, American science fiction writer and founder of the
Church of Scientology, invented the Hubbard Electrometer - a device
to determine if tomatoes experienced pain.  His conclusion: tomatoes
"scream when sliced."  As a BLT addict, I feel bad for them.

The couple that smokes together . . . . .  

. . . . seriously, I have nothing.

Dog Restrainer, 1940
I'll bet that you could also use this device to
reach stuff at the very top of your closets.

Cat Meow Machine, 1963
A rat and mice deterrent, the Cat Mew was invented
in Japan but proved to be less effective than an actual cat.

I've decided to turn my family's fortune around
by investing in more modern inventions:

Move over, Martha Stewart, the Beer Platter is here!

The Cow Cleaner
Farmers no longer have to haul their cows to
the car wash for a spit shine coif.

Old is New Again!
There's a growing contingency of people (me) who consistently
misplace their cell phones and yearn for the days of the Big Box.

In case the Big Box doesn't catch on, I'll diversify:
After all, we have to charge our phones and iPods somewhere.

The Sandal Bottle Opener
 If we can get these into college campus
convenience stores we'll be rich!

I'm Awake Decals
 Another college must-have!  Stick these decals on your eyelids and
professors will think you're paying rapt attention to their lectures.
The decals will also come in handy when 7 year seniors start their first jobs.

Book Sheets
 Slightly more expensive than the Kindle, these sheets are perfect
for those of us who love to read in bed.  Plus it's really big print.

Forget IKEA!

 The Instant Room was invented for big city dwellers
who are comfortable in a 50 sq. ft. apartment.

Who wouldn't pay $10 for a gadget that allows
you to dispense 2/3's of a $1.25 soda?

Yes, even as I wrap up this post I'm feeling richer.