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July 9, 2013

Oh, no, they didn't!



Yes, it's time for fleaChic's bi-annual tacky
Why fest where we raise an arched eyebrow
at some very homely décor and ask ourselves,


Yes, art is subjective.  Just don't subject
me to an anatomy chart while I'm eating.




Architects are famous for pushing the envelope and today's designs
are cutting edge.  Unfortunately, you'll do more than cut yourself
if you miss the first step at the door or reach for the stair rail.
(Are architects even allowed to have little children?)





It will be many, many years before '80s sofas are vintage
enough to be tolerated in any decorating scheme.  (But I
do love the mid-century modern coffee table.)




Leslie Fine Interiors
Um . . . .  shouldn't those drapes be hung in the dining room?




Contemporary Art Daily
It's an insult to contemporary artists to call this
art.  A contemporary accident?  Yes.  Art?  No.




Meta Interiors
Those are rocks.  Seriously?  You'd ask your grandma to sit on a rock?




I accept the sofa and appreciate the 60's ottoman-and-stool-as-coffee
tables effort but what is going on with the old television and
telephone on the crutch?!  It's dangerous AND ugly.



Laundry rooms can be dreary, especially in a basement,
but camouflaging the pipes to look like birch trees really
doesn't fool anyone.




Which is worse - an actual animal skull on the wall
or an angry papier-mache deer head on the wall?




What I'm about to write might scare you:  this wall is not
painted nor a framed work of art.  This hallucination-
inducing creation is composed of permanently mounted tiles.





At first glance this photo of a mountain lodge is appealing.  But on
closer inspection a few things are amiss - raised border carpet, a
questionable denim sofa, all white lampshades, and couldn't they
have cleaned the soot off of the fireplace stone?  Sure, some of
it could be shadows but not all.  (I warned you -  this gets catty.)



What a striking bedroom - if you don't
mind sleeping under airport runway lights.





If you favor Western American Indian fabric don't try to
mix it with Florida condo décor.  (Is the Dalmatian real?)




ANY type of closet door would look better than
book shelf wallpaper on two sliding doors.  ANY.





I adore beach décor; I just don't adore a huge
(real) stuffed fish hanging over the bed.





This is so not right. 






                         ♦  beautiful architectural features
                         ♦  stunning fireplace
                         ♦  gorgeous chandelier
                         ♦  completely inappropriate leather furniture



What's truly sad about this room is that the walls have so much potential and that Duncan Phyffe end table is fabulous.  But what's going on with the television DANGEROUSLY dangling over the sofa?!  (Don't even get me started on the
pink carpet, the aluminum sliding door, and the overhead light.)




Is that a metal futon beneath that gorgeous gallery of framed prints?  And don't
think we don't see the little file cabinet peeping around the side of the sleeper.




Whoever painted this antique wardrobe with chalkboard paint should
be permanently disbarred from The Amateur Decorating Society.

The same goes for the 'creator' of this Artistic Sacrilege:
The only excuse for painting this beautiful clothes
press is if the wood is damaged beyond repair.



Vagabond
At least these walls are covered with removable design transfers -
they're not permanent.  That does take a little sting out of the wound.



And, now - the Worst Decorating and Design Ideas of the last 6 months:


No. 5  Wearable Furniture

Contemporary artist Jamie Isenstein created a chair you can wear.  Unfortunately, for it to work, you have to actually wear it.  This would have been a serious contender for First Place except that it will be awesome at Halloween.



No. 4  Crazy Commercial Carpet
Just looking at this store's carpet makes me dizzy, I can't
imagine walking on it.  Bad choice.  Very bad.


No. 3  Kewpie Doll Table
Should conceptual artists be encouraged to create furniture?  NO!


No. 2  The Throne Recliner
There really are no words, are there?


And the Number One Worst Decorating Idea: 

The Eco Friendly XS Chair - simply fill it with your ex-cess recyclables and have a seat.  I totally understand the principle behind this concept but can you imagine - oh, never mind.

  Why were designers, manufacturers, decorators and marketers
allowed to insult consumers with these hideous offerings?

7 comments:

  1. are you absolutely certain those aren't birch trees?

    funny stuff!

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  2. This made me laugh out loud. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, up popped the kewpie doll table! There is definitely no accounting for taste.

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  3. Words can't describe my dismay at some of the "offenders".

    I hope none of the owners follow your blog.

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  4. I think I might go blind from all of that. Great job on finding the worst ever. Ewe- could have nightmares now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, I can't stop laughing - even though these were all hideous, your commentary was hilarious! Love it! xo

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  6. Some of this is truly unbelievable!

    ReplyDelete